Why did this happen to me?
Why did this have to happen to me NOW? Enough is Enough!! Haven’t I struggled enough? What have I done to deserve this?
It makes you want to give up. It makes me want to get drunk & stay drunk.
Have you been in this Space…more than once?
What am I talking about?
Well let me tell you what I am not talking about first.
This is what I believe.
First, I am not talking about things that are just plain bad and we have to learn how to live with it. For instance if some loved one of yours dies, that is just bad. Plain bad. No amount of re-structuring your brain is going to help. It just hurts. I am not talking about physical injuries or disease. They are just bad too. If something goes wrong with our health I am not telling you to Re-structure your thinking about it. If you can’t get out of bed and live life and really try for your dreams then so be it. You have to just get better or live with your limitations. Again it is just bad. Plain bad.
Sometimes in life, things just happen.
There is nothing you could do different. It just happened to you. That’s Life. And I believe that no-one goes through life and gets off scot-free. Challenges happen to us all. No-one has nothing to worry about.
That being said, what can we do to turn things around when Bad Things Come to Pass?
Well there are many approaches. But why should we anyway?
If you believe that we create our own lives, in the end, then its ALL up to you.
Blessing in Disguise
Let me not preach. Let me give you Real Life. My own experience the other day.
I was driving in my car. Now I have the worst driving record. Terrible. But of late a lot of my fines have been speeding fines for going 5-10km over the speed limit in zones that chop and change from 40-50-60 km per hour. They are in the main revenue raising created by strategically placed speed cameras. I had just campaigned successfully to keep my license and paid a massive $1,400 court bill to make it happen. But the magistrate found in my favour and so I was still allowed to drive. I drive home and then decide that I should but some yogurt for my daughter as she needs some protein so I begin to drive by turning right. I then stop because I think hang on I should wait until my partner gets home. She may need something to make the dinner. So I decide to reverse back to where I cam from – parked out the front of my house. My street is a dead end street, with only a lane at the end. I reverse and HIT a car that came out of no-where from the bottom of my street that was driving up. I was blinded because of the angle he was coming from. Yes. I probably shouldn’t have been reversing INTO a street from a side street, but this is my own street and had NO traffic when I drove into it. I do plenty of damage to the car that went past.
Why did I have to do this? I was just about to keep driving to get yoghurt but chose not to keep my partner happy. I don’t deserve this. I had just spent so much money on court costs for a fine I didn’t deserve and now I have to pay for the repairs on a car in my own street!!! This is not the first time this has happened to me. My driving history is littered with this kind of bad luck. I was cursing the gods. I can afford to repair this and will this mean I get a driving charge and I will be back in court again!!!
But here’s the thing.
“For as long as I hold the view that this is not fair, I will suffer. I will feel pain. I will feel like a victim.”
How do I get out of this?
Blessing in Disguise
Find a way to make this the best thing that could’ve happened. For me in the example above I resolve to not let this kind of driving mishap happen again. Never will I get a ticket or a minor accident again from my lazy driving. In a bustling congested traffic hell that is Sydney, that is a HUGE statement.
Further I have resolved that this moment is a line in the sand for where I will not settle for less than I can achieve. I will demand more of myself – not in a stressful way – but in an un-emotional action taking way. I will consistently move towards my goals until I finally have this moment erased from my memory.
When will that be?
When I have achieved 3 goals I set for myself the night of this accident. Then and only then will I relax.
This is how I will make this a blessing in a disguise. If we learn from our mistakes then we truly can turn around mistakes and failures into truimphs. You get what you focus on.
This is what I believe.
Let me know in the comments box below what you think of this theory.
Drive safe and…
Work Smart. Be Free.